When Survival Hijacks Identity

Have you ever looked back at a season of your life and thought,"That wasn’t really me..."?Maybe it was a relationship, a job, or even a home where you spent more time bracing for impact than breathing freely.Maybe it was a version of yourself that you don’t quite recognize — or maybe, regrettably, you do.

I came across a line the other day that paused my brain:"You're not yourself when you're triggered. You become who you think you need to be to survive."

It hit a place with me— the place that remembers all the times I abandoned myself just to make it through.

When we live in those places that constantly trigger our fight or flight response, something quiet — but impactful— begins to happen:We start slipping away from ourselves.Not because we want to.Not because we don’t know who we are.But because survival demands it.

In survival mode, our nervous system is hijacked by fear, panic, and the instinct to protect ourselves at all costs.Our values get blurred.Our personalities shrink down to whatever shape might keep us "safe" that day.We laugh a little less.Dream a little smaller.Trust a little slower.And sometimes, without even realizing it, we stop being fully alive — and start just… getting by.

It's not our fault.Survival is a powerful teacher.But if we stay too long in spaces that require us to survive rather than thrive, we start mistaking our armor for our skin.

Healing begins when we recognize this.When we realize that the anxious, defensive, exhausted version of ourselves isn’t the truth of who we are — it’s just the version that learned to adapt.

And the most courageous work we can do is to find — or build — spaces that feel safe enough for us to unfold again.To breathe without bracing.To laugh without second-guessing.To trust ourselves to show up as we really are, not who we had to be.

If you're in a season where survival feels like the loudest voice, I hope you know:There is nothing wrong with you.You adapted because you had to.But you don’t have to live there forever.

Your true self — the one built on love, hope and courage — is still there.Maybe a little buried.Maybe a little bruised.But not broken.

You are not your fear.You are not your panic.You are not your survival adaptations.

You are still — and always have been — worthy of peace, of breath, of being fully, beautifully alive.